worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
