I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize