Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
