so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
