I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize