Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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