One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
