Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
