No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
