if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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