After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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