She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
