I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
