I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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