oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
