I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
