I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
