I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just gift wrapped bread.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
