I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
