it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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