so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
