is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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