there's paper in my vomit.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
