I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
