But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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