I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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