Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just high enough for therapy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize