i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
