At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this will be a night to untag.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
