I think my fart just growled at me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
