I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
