you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
