Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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