I accidentally had phone sex last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
