so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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