Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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