what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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