Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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