It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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