There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
