OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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