So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
