i think i have herpe
just one?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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