did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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