he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
