Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
