he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
