I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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