Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
