Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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