that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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