we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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