She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
