I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
