And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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