Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
