Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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