Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize