I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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