Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
