Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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