a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
